Forgiveness

One of the hardest things we as people have trouble doing.  At least for me, it has been.  I am trying to change that about myself, but then someone comes along and rips my heart into a thousand pieces.  As the days go by and we get older it seems we lose the ability to forgive as easy as we did when we were young.  I believe it’s because when we were young we were not jaded with life yet.  So much of me wants to be young again.  I miss those days.  I used to be that person that was once deemed a “doormat” that you could walk on and I would just forgive no matter what happened.

Now that I am older, it’s so hard.  It’s hard to not hold onto the anger and allow myself to just let it go and forget and forgive.  I don’t want anger or pain in my life anymore.  I want to be able to go back to the girl who was the “doormat,” the girl that looked at everything with optimism.  I write to get through my days and heal my mind, but sometimes it’s not enough.

When I wrote Devine Intervention, God was trying to speak to me with every word I wrote.  He was telling me to let it go, enjoy the life you have left, because once you leave here, you won’t get another chance to forgive.  I know I have to do it, but doing it is the problem.  There is so much to be said but I haven’t found that girl yet that once lived within me.  I see her occasionally, but then she’s gone.

There is a lot I have done myself to others that I hope to be forgiven for one day.  I hope that before my time is up I can seek out the one’s I have hurt in some way and they will forgive me for the things I have done.   I have hope that my family especially forgives me.  I think that in the end, that will be what matters to me the most.

My loving husband, who has put up with my illness and never giving up on me.  He is the epitome of forgiveness in regard to me.  His love is what gives me hope.  My beautiful daughter,  who has had to shoulder the burden of taking care of me when I needed her, who still worries constantly and to be so young to have to worry is something that makes my heart ache.  My sweet son, who I have tried to keep all of this pain from, but didn’t accomplish, I hope he forgives me as well when his mother turns into someone he doesn’t recognize.  I ask for forgiveness from them as they are the one’s that have dealt with this never ending pain that has taken over their mother and wife.

Knowing what I have to do and doing it so that I can let my heart open back up to the girl that once was is who I want to become before I leave this Earth, but if I don’t get the chance and you are one that is reading this and I have ever hurt you in some way..Forgive me.

Donna

Devine Intervention

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This book has been a long time coming. It’s something that has been playing in my mind for several years, especially in the last year. It wasn’t until my son and I had an argument which then turned into a discussion about God. He’s still young, and his words to me this afternoon struck me to my core. He told me that he didn’t believe there was a God, or there was a Heaven. He felt that if there truly was a God, then why would we have to suffer? At first, I didn’t know what to say to him as I have often asked the same question. So many prayers that I have prayed have seemed to have gone unanswered, so many times I have cursed God myself for allowing things to transpire in my life that I felt were not fair, but to hear the words come out of my son’s mouth, was like a knife to the heart.
I never took my children to church to learn about God. I wasn’t like my mother who insisted my brothers and I go every Sunday and Wednesday. I remember growing up how I would enjoy it when I got there, it was the getting there that I had trouble with. Even in my teenage years, it was hard for me to embrace going to church and if it wasn’t for one particular woman, who took me under her wing to teach me there was more than sitting on pew listening to a sermon, I doubt I would have kept going. This woman taught me the realness of what God wanted from us. She taught me how to be humble, love others more than myself and serve Him in a way that was different. I was happier during those years than I have ever been in my entire life and a part of me wishes I had followed God’s call to be a missionary, but I chose not to. I didn’t listen to Him when He spoke to me that night at the conference in Gatlinburg. I heard Him, but I didn’t follow through and do it.
I imagine my life would have been extremely different, but then I wouldn’t have married and had two beautiful children either. So maybe, it’s okay that I didn’t choose to follow my call, maybe God knew I had another path I could go down and if I at least walked that path with Him, things would be okay. I didn’t walk the path with Him, I walked it alone.
They say that when you go against God that you not only curse yourself but you curse your family too. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it sure feels that way. After all, I am responsible for how my children are raised and Lord knows, I didn’t raise them up right. My mother tried to tell me. She would say, “Donna, you need to get these kids in church. They need to be taught about God.” I either wouldn’t answer her or just say, I know mom, or make up another excuse. It doesn’t matter, I didn’t do it right. Religion means nothing, but raising your children to know Jesus Christ and His Father is the one sole purpose of what we as parents are meant to do. It’s our responsibility to ensure that they get to know Him, and while I loathed “church” and wanted no part of it, I didn’t find another way for them to learn what God was all about. I am failing at this and I fear that it may be too late for me to bring my children around.
These words I am writing are from God. I think he has been pushing me to write them for quite some time and finally with a good shove from above, I am writing what He wants us to know about who He is. Not the Bible version really, but the true spirit and love that He offers. That’s what I think He wants me to talk about here in my writing. We can all open the Bible and read the history of how mankind was made and what happened during that time, but this is the here and now and people need to know what God is thinking.
I am hoping one day my children will read this and fully understand my motive in writing this book, and will come to understand who God really is for them. I hope that in reading these pages, you gain some wisdom about our Father as well. He wants to be a part of your life and He wants it to be easy for you to understand and feel compelled to come to Him.

Much love,

Donna

“Strange Body 2” What’s Gut Got To Do With It?

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If you have wondered why you have Autoimmune disease, then read this book.   Please pass on and share with anyone who is suffering from Autoimmune.  It could be a life saver.

This book contains well-researched articles found that explains Leaky Gut and how it plays THE major role in developing autoimmune.  This book discusses in great detail the gut itself, tests that need to be run, allergens that are caused by the gut leaking food into the bloodstream.  It also discusses ways to fix the gut, such as what to take, what NOT to take and foods to eat and what NOT to eat.  Vitamins that play a key factor in reducing inflammation and healing of the gut along with natural prebiotics and probiotics that play a HUGE role in getting the gut flora back and healing the holes in the intestinal lining.  An added bonus is the recipes at the end of the book taken from various websites to help aid you on your journey to healing your stomach. It has everything at your fingertips to keep like a bible in order to start the process of healing your stomach to put autoimmune into remission.

Notice I said REMISSION.  Autoimmune, much like cancer does not go away, it only goes into remission.  There is no cure for autoimmune but you can put it into remission in order to have a better quality of life. I’m not going to kid you and tell you this is going to be an easy task because it won’t be, BUT if you are in enough pain, you will do anything to stop the pain, no matter how long it takes. 

Ratings help on Kindle to get it noticed so if you are kind enough please leave a rating when you read the book or after you purchase it.  Kindle is funny, it doesn’t matter how many people download it, if you don’t have ratings it doesn’t catch enough attention. I don’t mind bad reviews either, I want to fix what needs to be fixed so it’s okay, just be honest and I will revise again. I am out to help, and will be happy for any input.

Thank you for your support in the effort to bring attention to Autoimmune.  We need it because we are many.

Best Regards,

Donna